Michigan Town Passes Public Bikini Act

Springs Village Council Monday night passed a new ordinance, just in time for summer that may affect many residents who sunbathe in the village limits. The ordinance, entitled the Public Bikini Act will require all potential sunbathers to have their bathing suits inspected and authorized by the Chief of Police before wearing them out of doors.

The suits will be inspected for compliance with community standards which includes proper coverage of one's cleavage and general good taste in fashion to make sure that no lewd or obscene bikinis harm the eyesight of any 80 something year old neighbors looking out their back windows with binoculars.

The Village Council passed the Bikini ordinance by a 5-2 vote, with Mike Cinderellagrass, Will Duster, Curly Headed Sandy, and the Chaddwick husband-wife duo voting in favor, and Bill Pezdispensor and Peter Faygo voting against the resolution.

Police Chief Kingston, present in the audience, suggested the new Bikini ordinance after he gave a detailed account of the many complaints the Broken Springs Police had received in years past. "More and more people are calling in to report partial nudity and obscene behavior by their bikini clad neighbors. It's indecent. Worse than Larry Flynt," said the Hustler subscriber who was once sued for sexual harassment. The moral Chief then went on to read a typical report to the council.